


(TRY) SAVE ME...

by CrazyValentine



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: A LOT of Angst, AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Hurt, I'm Sorry, M/M, NO DEATH, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Sensitive Issues, Suicide Attempt, This Is Sad, not real happy ending, sorry joe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyValentine/pseuds/CrazyValentine
Summary: "Ben traced Joe's cheek with a fingertips and then went away. It was midnight and he had to go somewhere else, just for a few. His protege would be safe during the night, he hoped"Ben can save someone and Joe needs help.





	(TRY) SAVE ME...

**Author's Note:**

> What you read is all my imagination. I woke up with this idea a couple of days ago and had to write it.
> 
> Attention: the story is quite hard, there will be some "strong" scenes but nothing really too descriptive. Some soft also.

 

 

 Ben had one chance to help someone, he needed to do that. But he was desperate, he didn't know what to do.  
For almost one week he followed this boy and tried, tried, tried. For every direction he suggested, the other one fucked all up. He didn't have much time left, neither did the guy who was dozing off in the bed next to him.  
Joe released a little "uff", a strand of his reddish hair covering his shuted eyes, mouth half opened. He was so sweet while resting, like he wasn't in pain, like if all the world didn't crush him, like he wasn't torn apart. Why was he doing all of this, why was he destroyng himself?  
Ben traced Joe's cheek with a fingertips and then went away. It was midnight and he had to go somewhere else, just for a few. His protege would be safe during the night, he hoped...

Joe woke up 2 hours later, took his phone and send a message. His head and stomach heaced a lot but he didn't care. He dressed up and leave the house, going to serch what he wanted the most...

Ben was speaking fast, almost angry, with his boss. The blonde had to convince him to let himself act different, just this time, just for once in a lifetime when the allarm in his mind started to rang uncontrollably. A guilty shiver down his spine. Ben knew for sure that Joe was in danger, _why he left him alone?_

Joe was enjoying himself a lot. He never felt better. Down on his knee, taking averything that bloke behind was giving to him. His dick, yes! But also the little pill he serched so much in this days, but somehow he wasn't able to reach.  
One wild slap, one hard thrust, one white powdered finger between his lips. This, again and again, was what Joe needed. Lose everything, no control, no worries about the world.

Ben entered in the dark room, Joe was laying on the floor red lights reflecting on his bruised pale skin, blank stare, while someone was riding him without respect. The misterious guy finished with a moan in that moment, leaving Joe on the ground without concern and walked out happily.  
Ben wished he was able to do a lot of thing: puke, hit the guy, scream, but above all hug Joe. _OH FUCK THE RULES_ , he thought, how could he fix a life if he couldn't do anything for the person?  
He moved closer to Joe, checking him- wow he was more wasted then last time, than every fucking time. <<Oh Joe, why?>> Ben said almost crying, but he knew why. He really knew the reason why this soul was trying to collapse.  
Joe was depressed, he gave up on life mounths ago.  
Cause when you lose someone that is your world and then you lose also the rest, when your dad die and you have no more family or no more good things left around you, you gave up and try to end yourself. When you think you haven't even this little sparkle of hope you can't keep the fire in you heart alive. And this was Joe: a mess that had no more fire in his mind. But he had the sparkle; it was locked somewhere in his body, but still on. And Ben was the one who should've help him find and revive it. Beacuse otherwise all the good, and bad, that was Joe exsistence would be ended in 3 weeks.  
And Ben broke the code of his angel department: _"you cannot touch them, you cannot talk to them, and most importantyou cannot be seen by your humans while they are awake"_ taking the readhead in his arms and whispering <it will be okay dear, I promise. Just fight, please> in his ears while watching Joe's eyes close slowly and fell asleep exhausted.

Joe woke up in his bed, alone, and waited for the pain to come and reach his brain, but the only thing he felt was a heat pervading his mind and shape, maybe his soul too. And for the first time in 28 years Joe let a sob escape and cried for himself, for what he had lost. For the first time he allowed his feelings take control and tears stream down his face, for his father and for the little Joseph murdered by all sort of addiction. Joe cried and cried until he fell asleep again.

And Ben watched all of this, heart broken, cuddling Joe all the time. In his invisible form of course, he already risked too much in the night, but still able to use his power to make Joe FEEL. Feel his emotions, feel himself, his heart, the little sparkle buring and feel Ben even if he didn't know. Ben hoped this was enough, at least for make Joe realized what his lifestile was taking away from him. Just a bit.

Some day had passed, Joe got up from the bed just for pee: no water, no food, no shower, nothing else. He was sick. But not just a flue, he was sick of his life. Sick of what he became and was, nothing could improve now. He was an empity human, no one needed him. No one wanted him. _What crazy person would want to have something to do whit such a nobody?_ Maybe it was the time to change this. Maybe was the moment to stop all.

The angel was sitting on the floor, studying the other one, legs near the chest and back against the wall. Seeing Joe like that was scaring Ben so much. For 3 day he watched him staying under the sheets without doing anything, both of them. Ben couldn't handle this anymore but also he knew he could fuck all up with the wrong move. He couldn't let Joe pay for his fault. So he sat on the edge of the bed, praying that his closeness would make those hazel eyes light again.

Joe's apartment was a small attic, on the 10th and last floor of an old building, when he was 24 he'd loved the view of the city so he bought it and move there. But now he hated it. Too much lonliness,so far from everyone and everything, too much high. Or maybe not so much. Joe was sitting with his legs dangling over the ledge's corner, eyes closed, facing the sky.

Ben snapped his eyes open. _How had he fallen asleep? He didn't need to sleep!_  
Unless... unless he had been too in touch with a human or had given him too much energy. And he had been very close to Joe these days.  
_JOE! Where the fuck was Joe!?_   Ben quickly inspected the house and then saw him, there on the friking ledge without holding on. Almost ready to fall. Joe was going to do something stupid. And without thinking about Ben run out the window, reached Joe, shouted <<PLEASE DON'T>> pulling him back from his shirt and then held him.

Joe was scared and confused and mad. Who was this boy? Why he stopped him? And how he was on his fucking roof? He turned back yellin <<LET ME GO>> and he met a pair of green eyes watching him like he was the most precious treasure of this world and everything around him vanished. After some seconds Joe recalled himself and broke free from the other one grip. << WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU UH? WHY ARE YOU HERE? THIS IS MY FUCKING PROPRIETY!!!>> Joe was red in the face with anger, perhaps even ashamed, he had been surprised and blocked by a stranger. Certainly wonderful and attractive one, but unknown.

Ben was frozen, he broke the rules again and this time Joe was conscious -awake- not half gone in some shitty place. "Think fast Ben, you can't say him who you really are" he said himself. Joe was looking at him with a look that made the blonde almost curl up. He had to lie, for everyone's sake. <<Uhm I-I I'm new here, it's my first day in this building and I wanted to see the roof... You know. I saw the stairwells and took the opportunity>> Ben looked Joe in the eyes, hoping he would believe that.

THE FUCKING FIRE ESCAPE! How could Joe not thought that. _Oh fate, you bitch._ No one never used these stairs before, and now this "new neighbour" ruined all his plans. Maybe this was a sign, a new beginning.. Oh fuck not, this was another joke of that bastard of God, fate, or whatever. <<Yes, now LEAVE. This is not a common space. GO>> he said harshly.

Ben was torn, but before he knew words came out <<I can't, I saw you. You were about to jump. I can't leave you even if I wanted to. It's not my nature. Let me help->> a determined, strong smack hit him in the face before he could finish the sentence. Joe was looking at him with watery eyes, breathing heavily.  
Ben crossed the line and sent everything to hell, didn't he? Before he could add anything, Joe pushed away, then ran to the apartment and shut himself inside. Yes, now Ben was sure, HE DID SOMETHING WRONG.

Joe entered the house, not allowing a single tear to come out, and began to throw down random objects from the shelves; letting himself scream with all his might. After having overturned a couple of chairs he threw himself on the bed, choking the screams against the sheets.   _All of that was absurd. Who the fuck had given that guy the right to intrude? Who he thought he was?  
_Something tickled his face: a long, almost golden feather, shining and soft, resided on his bed. _How did it get there? Where did it come from?_ Joe took it and turned over on his bed, turning that tender thing over in his hands, forgetful about the facts just happened.

Ben watched Joe destroy the inside of his house, from the outside... Maybe it was better to let him vent on his own, in his "privacy", without being close to placate him with his presence. Cause Joe needed to feel things, even if negative were better than zero. He decided to move away, sure that the reddish wouldn't have committed other big crap for the day.  
But at that very moment his boss, the Great Angel, stood before. This was unusual, too much, something was wrong and certainly serious. Usually he would have called him telepathically, inviting him to a hearing or simply communicating the message to him. If he had come this far, on Joe's balcony, then Ben had to be careful.  
<<Benjamin, we know what you did...>> He wasn't even screaming, but his tone was one of the scariest things Ben had ever heard, all his angel senses were in alert <<and you know that you broke all the rules at once. Twice. We cannot allow this to happen again, you know what this implies >>  
Ben didn't want to believe his ears: did they really want to separate him from Joe? <<You can't take this off, don't ... please. I need it->>  
<< Enough! it is not discussed. Already too much has happened because of a stupid little boy. We can't risk anything else happening for just one>> The angel's gaze was stone, cold. Its wings open almost as if to intimidate Ben. To remind him who was in charge.  
<< He is not any "one". I know it. I know he will do great things. I know that this person, this human, is destined to change the world in some way. I saw it. If he finds his spark and keeps it alive, then the fire within him will ignite the world. And maybe, maybe, he will be able to burn a bit of disgust that surrounds humanity>> Ben did all this talk with pleading eyes. He needed Joe to live. Not only because he really had a vision of his future, but also for something more personal, which the blonde had no intention of revealing.  
<< You have a week.>> and with this the other went away, leaving Ben shocked.

Joe woke up due to a noise, numb: had had overslept, the feather abandoned in his hair. He took it and placed it on the bedside table, not realizing that the golden reflections had disappeared.  
He walked mechanically toward the bathroom, but in doing so stepped on something... Probably one of the robe that had thrown on the ground the day before and that obviously had not bothered to collect. He didn't care and went on, he really needed to use the toilet. Coming out of the bath, his bare feet ran into something thin but pointed. Joe lowered his eyes and watched a blue envelope, he was pretty sure it wasn't his, intrigued he bent over and took it. It was light yes, but Joe felt almost as if all the weight of the world was locked in that piece of paper.  
He opened it and took out the small sheet folded inside: a letter, written in impeccable and neat handwriting, looked almost like an ancient book page.  
_**"Dear Mr. J. Mazzello,  
**__**(and no I am not a stalker, not really ... I read the name on the bell)  
**__**I wanted to make sure you were fine and have a chat with you.  
**__**It will seem strange to you but it could be good for both of us.  
**__**I know I was intrusive yesterday, and of course I still am presenting myself at your door and leaving this one. Actually I wanted to talk to you in person, I knocked but no one answered me then I wrote this thing.  
**__**I will seem crazy right? Well maybe I am or just my nature makes me so.  
**__**I'm not making a good impression uh?  
**__**Yes, yes, I know we don't know each other. We don't even know our names, but trust me I know destiny binds us, there's a reason why I was on that roof.  
**__**Anyway I just want you to know that you can find a good listener in me, I'm good at hearing what others have to say. Even if you need a shoulder to cry on, I could help you. I'm also good with silences or filling in the gaps. Whatever you want.  
**__**I think I know what you're going through, it might surprise you how much, so I just ask you to give me, to give you, a chance. If I don't prove to you this, you can even slap me again - and yesterday's still hurts me - but please let's try.  
**__**I will answer any question you want or you may not even say a word.  
**__**I'll be at the bar down here all day, I hope to see you.  
**__**B. Hardy"  
**_Joe had to read the letter a couple of times before figuring it out. That boy was incredible and also a bit scary.  
_Had it not been enough to interfere in his life like this, but now he also begged him to go to some sort of appointment? To do what then? Tell him his life and puff magically everything would start to shine again?  
__But who the fuck was this? What did he think he knew? Which world did he come from? You see a person on the roof and your reaction is to want to save it? Save from what? And then Joe didn't want to be saved. He didn't need it_.  
Joe crumpled the sheet and threw it on the ground and then burrowed under the blanket again.

Ben was sitting in that bar for something like ten hours and the waitress was starting to look at him really bad. Obviously he had been careful to order something every few, but he was still occupying a table standing there, doing nothing but looking at the street through the window. Why hadn't he thought of a cover on this front? A book for example.  
He was immensely worried that Joe wouldn't show up. Of course he knew it was all "normal". Every now and then he pretended to go to the bathroom and actually materialized next to Joe's bed, finding the boy still there, gathered on himself... The signs of sag clearly visible on his face.  
Ben waited and waited but the boy didn't show up. That night he put another note near Joe's door and watched over him during his sleep.

Joe woke up exhausted. Stomach cramps were killing him but he didn't care, he couldn't even drink a glass of water without wanting to vomit. He headed for the bathroom but his attention was caught by another blue envelope, identical to the one of the day before. He was tempted not to open it, but a superior force forced him to do so: the same handwriting as yesterday. It was definitely B.  
**"J. You didn't come yesterday, but this won't stop me from trying again today.  
I'm pedantic I know. But I really do care to have a neighbor as a friend.  
Believe me if I tell you we're tied. Believe me when I talk about wanting to help you. Believe the fact that you are worth it. There is always hope, there is always that spark. Find it or allow me to guide you-"  
**Joe was sick of this shit and not even take care to read the rest, tore the paper into four and threw it on the ground, among the rest.

Ben couldn't take it anymore. Checking Joe at night and not making him suffer too much, staying visible all day and moving from one place to another, was running him down. He was really trying, but the farther he went the less he could feel the life force of his protégé. But Ben had no intention of giving up, not yet. They had to take Joe away from him, and he wouldn't give up then either.  
Had he become too attached to the life of one human? Maybe. But deep down he knew why HIM. It was not a coincidence. So he tried again.

For three days Joe woke up and found blue envelopes on his floor. Every time the envelope became thicker and heavier, the writing less clear and tidy, the words more disarranged but mor deeper. Almost as if that perfect typewriter had jammed or the ink had dried up. And each day Joe started reading those letters and then tore them up as soon as he read a sentence that made him turn up his nose. Only to then collect the pieces a few hours later and put them back together, to read those words again and again.  
No one had ever worried so much about him, nobody had ever put so much effort into it. Perhaps only his father was able to give Joe the same warmth that a shadow was managing to make him feel.

It was a little less than an hour to the closure and Ben felt increasingly distressed, he was about to get up and go check again on Joe, when a red tuft caught his attention. Ben thought he had a vision: Joe was entering the place. Scruffy but still standing. Indeed, now sitting in front of him. It was like a ghost of the Joe he first saw.  
<<I don't know who the fuck you think you are or what the fuck you think you know about my life. You don't know anything understand? And don't make any strange impressions. I'm here because I didn't have better things to do and I was getting bored>>  
Ben knew it wasn't true, if Joe had come out of his shell of blankets to meet a stranger then maybe there was something that could be done. And the blond knew he had to hurry, Joe's times were drastically reduced. In 2 days he had to prove that he was worth it, not only to his superiors, but to Joe himself.

Joe couldn't believe it, he didn't even know why he had left the house, what drove him to meet his neighbor and hear what he had to say. Not after all those days. But now he was there, in overalls, with his hair unraveled and surely stink to suck, sitting at the table with a boy likely younger than him, but who seemed to have all the answers in the world. Tired, but good looking kid. Joe didn't remeber him so awesome.  
He couldn't help but stare at the boy in front of him, almost like a magnet. Green eyes and red lips, strong features but overall a very sweet, angelic face. Joe knew that if he found one like that in one of the clubs he attended he would give him hell. The devil and the holy spirit merged in one movement. But he wasn't in a club now and the guy in front of him seemed too innocent to be ruined by someone rotten inside like he was. This soft boy was pure, and he was broken. Joe was falling for someone too good for him. He needed to go away and let him breathe fresh air, this _angel_ deserved to clean air, not the pollution that Joe was able to bring into others' life.  
Joe realized he was staring incessantly at the stranger's mouth only when he felt his hand lightly touched. He moved abruptly, almost as if that touch had given him an electric shock, to then relax in the other's gaze.  
<<I said my name is Ben. Yours?>> Ben said to him, with a smile.  
<<Joe>> he answered, lost in a world he didn't even know.

Ben knew that Joe had felt the shock, he had warned it too.  
He had to be careful, everything was collapsing and he had to try to touch the other as little as possible. He was doing enough damage already. Another mistake might have been the end.  
<<So Joe, can I offer you something?>> Ben decided to take it easy, without pushing his luck too much.  
<<No thanks. I'm not hungry>> was the reply. And Ben knew that was a big lie. Joe wasn't eating from days.  
<<C'mon, just a coffe. A tea? Something. It's on me.>> Ben tried.  
<<I SAID NO OK!?>> Joe was ready to get up.  
" _Don't push Ben, don't push" <<_Yeah sorry. I'm glad you came anyway>>  
<<I'm starting to regret it. It's better if I go->>  
<<No please. Please. Everything you want but stay. **I need you to stay** >> _"Oh Ben, really good job"  
_<<WTF DUDE? Why it's so important to you? You don't know me. Why do you care so much? Are you some sort of sociopath or shrink or something like that? You want to close me somewhere, as a coffin or an asylum?>>  
_Oh Lord, this was getting hard.  
_<<No, nothing like that. I'm just a poor boy who lives to do good deeds, they keep me going, do you understand? Helping others is part of me, I could not live without it. And well, you got in my way. I know it's hard to hear it, but you need help and I'm willing to give it to you. Take it as a gesture of courtesy to accept me as a neighbor>>  
_Still with these Ben? Not good.You should learn to control language._

 _"OH FUCK THIS WAS WAY TOO MUCH"_ Joe thought. He couldn't handle it. Ben was a gem and he was an unfixable crap. _< <_YOU CAN'T COME TO ME AND SAY THIS SHIT STRAIGHT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE CHILD. GO TO HELL>> and then he slapped Ben, again, running away from his words: real and sharp, like blades. He ran with all his breath, with all the strength he had in his body, slinging home without caring about anything.  
Joe went into the kitchen and took a knife, sank it into his arm by cutting vertically and letting the blood flow in streams. He slipped slowly beside the kitchen counter, abandoning himself to oblivion.  
Everyone would have been better off without him. _Everyone?_ He had no one, and the only person who was approaching him didn't deserve to be sucked into the black hole that was his life.  
Joe felt a deep heat, everything was bright around him. Perhaps this was the famous light at the end of the tunnel. He tried to open his eyes but instead of expecting the white he found a pair of green irises, red eyes crying.  
<<Ben>> whispered with one last breath

Ben immediately run after Joe, even forgetting that he could teleport, sensing that it was all to finish. For better or for worse, the point of arrival was in sight.  
Everything was red in the room: Joe's hair crushed on his forehead, Ben eyes because the tears were falling heavy from his eyes, the anger that was mounting inside him, but above all the river of blood that surrounded the man on the ground.  
Ben knew that he was about to make a gesture possible only in extreme cases, and he was granted once in the existence of every angel and he was willing to sacrifice it for Joe. This was the time.  
The angel took Joe's left arm and ran a finger over the wound, whispering a few sentences. Slowly the blood began to stop and the flesh closed, leaving only a large fresh scar that ran from the wrist to the elbow. After this procedure he brought Joe's lifeless body to the bed, resting his head on the pillow and sitting next to him.  
After a couple of hours the other began to murmur something in his sleep, something vaguely reminiscent of his name, to then slowly open his eyes. Green and hazel meeting, chest filled with every possible emotion.  
<<Hey>> Ben whispered.

It took Joe a few moments to realize where he was. Maybe he was dead and this was a moment of joy before eternal damnation.  
A pair of eyes scrutinized him carefully, watching his every little move. If this was a dream, a vision, well he didn't want it to stop. That boy with whom he had barely spoken but who had written words to him that were worth more than anything else and had tried in every possible way, was there... Lying next to him, on his side. Curls falling over his face, a hand near his. No touching but Joe could sense the presence, the heat.  
<<Hi>> Joe said. He was dazed.  
<<You ok? Can you stand up a little? You have to eat something. Come on.>> Ben told him  
<<Is this a dream?>>  
<<No Joe, this is reality, Please sit.>>  
And Joe did it. He leaned back against the headboard, accepting the tray that the other handed him. It was so much that he didn't eat something decent that even the first sip of the tea he swallowed made him moan.  
<<Why are you here? Why are you still here? Why don't you leave me alone?>>  
<<I told you Joe, you're my mission.>>  
No, Joe couldn't handle all this, he didn't even have the strength to ask questions anymore. All that Ben was... All this sweetness, all this care, was something he hadn't experienced for too long- but now he realized he needed it.  
If Ben wanted to help him, maybe he would let him do it. Just because for the blond it seemed a matter of vital importance. So Joe tried to eat something, because every time he grabbed a bite, Ben's smile widened a little more and his eyes lit up a bit.  
Only after eating a toast did the realization of what he had done came back to him, like a boomerang. This meant that Ben had found him in a very bad condition and still wanted to be near him. He had stayed there to take care of him.  
Nope, that boy was really too much for this world, Joe had to send him away before he consumed him. Ben's life was something he couldn't destroy.  
But first, he had to try those lips. Only once. He wanted to touch heaven with a finger and bring the memory with him, whatever his final destination was.  
So he leaned into him, Joe could feel their breaths mingle, Ben's lips were so close and then all of a sudden there was nothing. The blonde was away, out of bed. Eyes wide open. So close but so far away.  
<<We can't Joe. I can't. Sorry.>> Ben said softly, still there.  
<<Go away. Just GO>> Joe tried not to scream.  
<<I can't do this either>> and then he came closer, sitting on the edge of the bed.  
<<WHY. GOD! WHY ALL OF THIS!?>> Joe was going mad.  
<<Please don't say it. Don't call him>> a soft plea  
Joe was shocked <<JESUS! I don't understand you. You are doing all of this but you don't want to kiss me and you ask me not to say "God"!? What is your problem? You want to save me? I think it's to late, I'm in hell already. You want to fuck me then leave? Please DO IT. Or you just want to rip me in so many parts for a bet o a masochist game? Or maybe you->> Not even Joe knew what he was going to say.  
He only knew that he found himself in front of a pair of giant wings and a rather annoyed Ben.  
<<STOP>> Ben said waving his wings and then making them disappear.  
Joe was speachless. _THIS WAS A DREAM. A nightmare maybe._

Ben had let himself go and revealed his secret, he would face the consequences then. But he couldn't let Joe say all those things. Now he had to explain and convince him to live. <<I'm an angel Joe, your angel. And no this isn't a dream. You have to listen to me, ok? We have little time>>  
<<An angel?>> Joe repeated almost mechanically  
<<Look, I know it sounds incredible, but I chose you. I had the chance to help someone, to save him, and I found you. You're perfect to me Joe, even if you don't know or trust it. This trip served both you and me. You have a spark and you must allow it to burn, but not to consume you. I've seen what you can do, you just have to believe it. You have a great future ahead of you, and I shouldn't tell you I know, but you will help so many people if you allow yourself to believe in you. You are your way Joe, you are your strength, your fire. Look for it in you okay? You MUST live. For yourself, for the world, for me>>  
<<You? W- Why?>> said Joe, approaching him.  
<<Because I was like you. You remind me so much of myself, Joe.  
My human life was disgusting and I let it slip from my hands. I was a young boy without a flicker of hope, of life. And I ended it. But I got lucky somewhere else and after a long and arduous journey I arrived where I am now. I can help people, I can do what no one has tried to do for me on Earth but that someone did for me later. And you Joe ... Saving you was like saving both myself. The earthly one with all its problems, and the angelic one that helps people. Do it Joe, prove me I wasn't wrong. It shows that there is also life in those that too many call "lost cases". Please.>>  
Joe was crying, a lot. And Ben let himself broke rules again. Closing the space between them and hugging Joe. Making the wings come out to enclose him in a gesture of complete affection. Letting the redhead tears fall on his neck: they would leave a mark, but now it didn't matter.  
After a couple of minutes the two broke away. Joe got out of bed and went to get a feather. << This is yours, isn't it? >>  
Ben looked at it. Yes, it was one of the feathers on his wings. But no longer golden.  
He paid attention to them then: the outer strip had turned black, as if burned. The rest is still soft, white and gold. Joe also seemed to notice the problem.  
<< Is this my fault? My closeness? I'm just a problem Ben >>  
Someone from the high place was calling him. Ben had to come back or they would have made him do it.  
<<You are not Joe, i wanted this. I have to go now. Promise me you will be fine>>  
<<Don't leave. I need you. I need someone with me>>  
<<You will. Maybe in days, in months or years ... But someone will come. Maybe a nice blond guy, with light eyes that will bring joy into your life. Wait for him, Joe. And live>>  
<<I need to remember you. For good. Kiss me good bye. Just one time.>>  
<<It will burn Joe, I can't hurt you>>  
<<I don't care>> Joe was watching him with puppy eyes and he can't resist.

Ben took Joe's injured arm with the cut facing up, so that it was clearly visible to both of them. Joe felt he was in a bubble.  
<< I couldn't totally cure it. The cuts of this type cannot be healed 100%, not even by an angel. >> Ben placed a kiss to lips closed under the wrist. It burned like crazy but it was worth it. << So you will remember me. And what does all this mean, what you have to fight for. >>  
Ben pulled away and Joe looked at his arm. A small lip-shaped scar covered his skin, almost like a tattoo.  
<<Sorry>> they said at the same time.  
<< Sorry if it hurts >> Ben smiled, but Joe shook his head  
<< Sorry for driving you crazy, sorry for the wings, sorry if I'm not enough and I'll probably let you down. But I swear I'll try Ben. I swear I'll try to make the pain worth it. I want you to remember me positively >>  
<< I'll watch you Joe. I will always be with you. Be brave. Be strong.>>  
And then Ben leaned into hip, brushing softly ad quickly their lips. When Joe opened his eyes he was disappeared, leaving him and his new life in a home to be rearranged. Ruined but still useful, just like its owner.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to anyone who has come this far, who will leave kudos or a comment!  
> English is not my first language, I'm Italian, so if you see errors let me know and I will try to correct them.
> 
> I would also like to apologize for making Joe suffer. The scene of him on his knees was painful to write, even for me.  
> And this ending, you can read it how you want. I have my own idea. Let me know yours!  
> (Ps Don't ask me what you read because I probably don't even know myself...)
> 
> pps Thanks to Bea, my beta and supporter. Sorry if I made you crazy with this x


End file.
